It is only by the grace, patience, and unending mercy of God that you are reading this!
God impressed upon me to write and I said no.
This blog…well…let’s call it my Ninevah. It was the big scary thing God was calling me to do, but like Jonah, I ran the other way!
I had resigned to living life in the background and then God said NOPE, that’s not what I made you for.
One afternoon, I boldly (or better yet, ignorantly) decided I wouldn’t write. I knew that if I wrote about God’s faithfulness in my life Satan would find a way to bring up the dirt of my past and use it to humiliate me…to accuse me…to condemn me. So, I did what any wannabe wallflower would do…I pulled a Jonah (honestly, I think I would have rather been swallowed by a whale instead of enduring what came next). I decided that I knew best. I knew my limitations and disqualifications (would you like the list?). I had no business writing…I decided that it was better to remain anonymous. Besides, if God wants this message to be spread, he will find someone else…right? WRONG…oh man I was so wrong. Two days later my entire life was flipped upside down. The skeletons in my closet were exposed in the worst, most hurtful, and dramatic way.
The following Tuesday was the beginning of God’s intense refining.
In retrospect, I am eternally grateful for the mercy He has shown me. I am thankful he did not let me continue in bondage to my shame.
It hurt like heck…in fact, it still hurts, but he is leading me faithfully through the valley. (As he always does).
I was resigned to my story being about a girl who was too scared to face her giants. Instead, my loving heavenly Father said my story would be about His pursuit of me, even when I was chasing after lovers in this world. My story would be about HIS redemption, patience, grace, and mercy. You see, I had already experienced the goodness of God in my life (many times) and even after those experiences, I still chose to set my sights on my selfish sinful desires. The funny thing about sin…it always gives false hope. It can NEVER deliver on its promises.
Many encouraging testimonies have been shared over the years about incredible conversions but it seems not many talk about the mess-ups and redemptions occuring after conversion. That’s what this blog is about. It’s about a girl who knew Jesus as her Savior yet didn’t believe she was forgiven. It’s about a girl who had all the right Sunday School answers yet didn’t fully understand and apply the Gospel to her life. It’s about a girl who prayed for the Lord to search her heart and reveal her sins yet remained blinded to the heavy chains of shame that bound her. It’s about a girl who wants to testify to the greatness, patience, and mercy of her loving, sovereign Father…to testify of his tender loving mercy through chronic illness, rebellious children, betrayal, loss of a spouse, shame, and the hard things in life. It’s about a girl who has truly experienced Romans 8:28-29.
My prayer is that you will be encouraged through Violets in the Valley and that each post will point you to Christ, our ONE and ONLY hope!
I admire your willingness to seek after God and His will for your life through this blog! You have a painful and beautiful life to share with others! I know God will use this to draw people to Him! I love you! Mom❤️
This is what the world needs. For us Christ Followers to live our lives authentically with no more hiding and no more pretending. I applaud your honesty and bravery. May the Lord be a shield around you as you tell your story. As you continue to walk into freedom you will be a freedom bringer. Well done! Keep going!
I do enjoy your writing style as it keeps you engaged and it’s like reading about your own life … we all have these Jonah moments in our lives if we honest and may we always choose to turn and follow the lover of of soul. May the Lord continue to lead and bless you greatly. 🌸💖🌺