What makes us uneasy with others’ sufferings? It’s as if some would prefer to turn a blind eye to it rather than sit in the valley with others for the sake of comforting them. How do you respond when someone shares their deepest pain and hurts with you? Are you willing to mourn with them for as long as needed? In these moments of heartache, believers have an incredible opportunity to reflect their redemption by comforting others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
To begin with, we should stop pretending that our lives are perfect. Let’s be honest with others and admit our pain. In the early years of my marriage to Scott, things were difficult. Everyone else around me seemed happy and so in love with their spouse. Looking in from the outside, their lives appeared perfect and I found it difficult to connect with people in the church.
Why do we strive to maintain a facade of perfection in life? In my experience, this makes others feel inadequate and isolates those in pain.
I was ashamed to admit my pain because I thought it made me a “lesser” Christian. Over the years I have learned that if people do not see the depth of your suffering, they will miss the greatness of God working in and through the suffering.
I believe refining our comforting skills would be highly beneficial for the church body. Susan Hunt says, “Involvement in someone’s pain gives a dimension to a relationship that nothing else is able to do. So often people suffer alone because we lack the comforting skills that will give us the confidence to be comforters. Many broken-hearted women feel helpless. They sit on the pew next to us, but they suffer in silence because they are afraid we will reject them. Other women’s hurting hearts leave them feeling helpless because they think it is wrong to feel pain. They are ashamed to admit their pain…Our pain has purpose. Without pain, we would not experience God’s comfort. Without experiencing God’s comfort, we are not equipped to comfort others.”
Your quietness speaks volumes. Many people choose silence in times of suffering to prevent saying the wrong words. However, this silence is deafening to the hurting person. Hunt goes on to say, “Caring enough to be there communicates loving involvement in another’s pain. Hurting people require enormous energy just to survive. We can be a further drain on their energies through insensitive remarks or neglect, or we can provide an atmosphere of love that makes it easier for them to experience God’s comfort.”
Amid heartache, hurting people don’t want to be cheered up, they want to be comforted.
Studying and knowing God’s word will help us in comforting others! Scripture is the one genuine comfort we can share with those who are hurting. It is like a balm for the aching heart. Hurting people are encouraged by passages like Psalm 77 and Isaiah 43. They want people to fervently pray for them. The hurting person wants to know that people haven’t forgotten them or their pain. Just a simple text like “thinking of you” or “I’m here if needed” is better than saying nothing.
Praise Jesus, we are able to comfort others from the comfort we receive from our Heavenly Father.
Yes! 🙌🏼 So true! 💕